Bill “Coon” and the Giant Mole

by Roderick T. Long

[Idaho Falls, 1975 or 1976 (age 11 or 12).]

One day, when Bill “Coon,” the adventurer, was walking through the woods, he saw some pink mushrooms. He had never see pink mushrooms before, so he bent over and ate one. KA-WHAMMY! Bill “Coon” grew higher than the highest mountain.

Then a mole came out of the woods and ate a pink mushroom. KA-WHAMMY! The mole grew taller than the tallest mountain. He ran up to Bill “Coon” and bit him on the leg!

Bill “Coon” ran after the mole, who quickly burrowed underground, creating a giant hill on the surface. Bill “Coon” ran after the mole, trying to step on it, but the mole moved too fast! His heel just came down on the long hill the giant mole had made. It came down again and again, making huge indentations in it.

Suddenly, the mole came out of the burrow and ate a green mushroom. YMMAHW-AK! (KA-WHAMMY backwards.) The mole shrunk down to ordinary size. Bill “Coon” ate one too. YMMAHW-AK! Bill “Coon” went back to ordinary size. But since the giant range of hills with the indentations in it could not eat a green mushroom, it stayed the same size. And so the humps and valleys are still there, and they are called the Rocky Mountain Range.

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